How To Know Good Friends

Who is a friend? We mostly think we have the answer to this question. Its popping into your head I know. A friend is someone close; someone you are really close to right? Well buttocks!!! A friend is generally anyone you talk to. Other than your family, lover, spouse or enemies; everyone else you are acquainted with is your friend. Having established that point, I’m sure you agree with me that going by this definition of friendship your list of friends just became endless; right?

Having so many friends could be fatal if you don’t understand your connections and loyalties. This post seeks to help you clear the confusion. People would always be people, seeking acquaintances for benefits. Everyone has their flaws, and I don’t seek to judge anyone but there are certain traits a friend must poses before he/she can be regarded has a good friend. There is no rule to choosing friends; I see Life as art, painting your preferences with choice. However associations are paramount to the kind of life you live. Getting confused? You can read how to choose friends. Moving on, how do you know a good friend?

·        Trust

A good friend is a friend that can be trusted at all times. They usually have your best interest at heart always. Now I understand that it is hard to trust especially when betrayed previously; but time reveals all. True friendship is build overtime during which you tend to learn flaws and imperfections. Trust me if your friend can be trusted you would know. I have this friend I trust, funny guy and quick to temper but I love him (bromance); why because I know I can trust him with my girl, my cash and my life; but not my food though (he likes food for Africa). Also I have another friend I don’t trust at all especially with my girl he is known for such. Another I don’t trust with money. Knowing the flaws of your friends is very important so read maintaining friendships. Moving on,

·        Loyalty

A good friend is a loyal friend, a powerful ally with firm allegiance. They protect and support you even in your absence. “Whenever push comes to shove” they are never lacking in throwing punches with & for you. Having a loyal friend is like being in two places at the same time. I have this friend loyal as hell; truly, a good friend is closer than family. He rebukes me in private but supports me openly. He fights my wars with me. They would never take your guy/girl, NEVER! This is one of the ultimate tests of loyalty. Also if your friend doesn’t turn on you when money is involved, then that is a friend you should treasure for life. A loyal friend would never gossip, tell lies or reveal your secrets to third parties. Note! Friendship is both ways, you have to be loyal to seek loyalty.

·        Honesty

An honest friend is a good friend. They speak freely from their heart without being clouded by personal emotions. A long time ago I had to play matchmaker to two friends trying to save one from a recent heartbreak. When doing so I was totally objective, telling each how to guard their heart from each other. Most would jump at this and say I was two sided but, all I said was “study him before you decide to commit or not” and “oboy!!! She’s heartbroken oh! Just watch her first and see if you can commit”’. When talking you should learn to say as little as possible because trust me whenever you talk a lot you say the wrong thing, you can read more about it on how to communicate effectively.  Back to honesty, an honest friend would never lie to you or deceive you.

·        Dependability

As a friend you are dependable when you stand up for your friends, show up when you say you will, do what you say you will, basically just being there for them. I don’t want to be friends with anyone who is not dependable; it would be like shooting a bird with feathers or flowers.

·        Care

A caring friend is a good friend. They empathise with you always. They know or at least try to understand what you go through and respond accordingly. A caring friend accepts your choices no matter how different it may be from their's. They are not judgmental. They pay attention to you and are pretty good listeners. Once upon a time, I was depressed and tried talking to a friend but he was just busy pressing his phone talking to one girl. It was clear that his need to shag was more important to him than my state of mind. Moving on celebrating a friends victory is just as important as consoling their hurt. A good friend is supportive in both good and bad times. For some weird reasons some friends find it hard to celebrate your wins, you can clearly feel jealousy in their sarcasms. If you are someone like that then you should read overcoming jealousy. Trust me an envious, bitter and jealous friend is not someone I want to keep close and am sure you wouldn’t want to either.

·        Fun to be with, friendly and sociable

Now everyone loves a fun guy, an annoyingly jovial girl, someone with a sense of humour. I have this friend, fun guy, whenever he comes to see me he starts shouting my name before he even gets to my gate. He turns my name upside down, downside up, side side side, basically anyhow he likes. Normally coming from anyone else it would annoy me the hell out but from him all I can do is just smile and laugh and shout back at him. Going by this background when life knocks me down he starts by laughing, usually pointing out the humours in life. Heartbroken? He comes at me like “ahahahahaha them don break your heart? Sorry iya kpele (in pidgin language)”. This is not being insensitive, he helps me take things lightly and cheer up fast. So I take him as a good friend.

The above are the most important traits of a good friend; however for my own preference, in light of ROICKES dedication to help you become better in life, another trait I suggest is self-confidence. Being around self-confident individuals also boosts your confidence. Confidence is contagious, had some friends in the military whose confidence rubbed off on me of some sort.

Now, having stated all this it is very important to know that friendship is not one-sided you have to bring your own share to the table, where ever you are lacking in any combination of good traits you should make amends, why? In order to seek for a good friend, you must also be a good friend.

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