how to maintain a healthy relationship

like most of us i am very sure you must have had stress in your relationships. often times in our search for happiness we tend to loose ourselves and get stuck in a state of serious dilemma wondering whether to hold on or let go.
its is pretty crazy most times trying to choose between leaving or staying in the relationship. one minute your are so sad that your world wants to rip apart the next you are happy like a little baby getting fresh milk.

well like me, you don't have to make that choice. we have lots of issues in our relationships because of the approach we take most times. to maintain a healthy relationship there are certain guidelines you must follow. these are as follows

Relax

Guy!!! Relax, don't take life too seriously. Babe calm down life isn't as hard as you think. Many people find it hard to relax in their relationships. You got into the relationship for a reason, you both found each other exciting. Stop letting your fear make you change. Being real is the number one criteria in every relationship. Let your partner know that you not trying to impress them. Rather let them love you for who you are or split.

Give your all

Being relaxed doesn't mean you have to be lazy. Believe it or not, being real takes alot more work than faking perfection. You have to be able to adapt and pay attention to our partners mood, put in enough effort to understand your partner. You can't be cool with the realness of your partner if you don't put in enough effort to understand their moods and reactions. A stressed out person may feel irritated and could give hurtful responses but knowing the reason why your partner is acting in such a way that is paying attention, that's is putting up an effort.

Make yourself happy

Being in love shouldn't be the only criteria for being happy. You have to learn that your happiness depends on you and you alone. Waiting on someone to make you happy could have some emotionally devastating consequences. Learning to make yourself happy is the core of every relationship. Why try to make your partner happy when you can't make yourself happy. This is not being selfish, it's being self independent. Now just because you have to make yourself happy doesn't mean you have to disregard your partner's feelings. Like adding salt to taste you have to be careful not to over do it. 

live your life

The major mistake I've made in relationships is putting my life on hold or changing my reality for my partner. Love is not a license to disregard your life. I like to see it as a merger of two great companies bringing both strengths and weaknesses to the table. Back in 2011, I fell in love with this girl. It was so intense that I left my world and embraced her's. Most of you might not understand my point. Guy I left my friends and replaced them with hers; not to mention the other aspects. The major repercussion is being lost without her,  believe it or not relationships end and only a handful make it to forever. So be wise and live your life while taking into account the feelings of your partner. Like salt to taste you still have to be careful not to over do it. 

Dont forget to love yourself

Love your neighbor as yourself. But what?

Love your self first, you can't be busy loving your partner when you don't love yourself. Most people remain in hurtful relationships mostly because they love their partners more than themselves. Forget those romantic movies; forget poetic instances love would never demand for you to get hurt. Love is not a competition of who can love who more. Being with someone means being in their lives. When you  understand this, then you can maintain your emotional independence.

dont try to control your partner

This brings us to the major problem in every relationship. Lovers would always get insecure at one point or the other.  When this happens, they try to control the situation rather than  trust their partner. don't go there, don't talk to that person; don't do this don't do that. The consequence of this is the basic human instinct of Revoltion; the basic need for independence which makes them to contest your control in which you would perceive it as insolence and a means to find out whether or not the love has diminished. But really it's normal "rattle the cage you'll get the lion feeling". You are not intitled to total control; that is a fact you have to take with total brevity. Trust your partner but be wise! 

understand that relationships have expiring date.

Most would quickly contest the fact that relationships don't expire but really you have to have it the the back of your mind that it may end at any time. You have to make yourselves variables constantly intertwining at which point when not compatible would break apart.